I attended a meeting recently where prominent women in business were discussing various topics related to leadership. What struck me was the fervor with which these women were talking about self confidence, specifically their occasional (or not so occasional) lack thereof. It became clear to me that although these women were known for being quite accomplished, many of them were struggling in some way with self confidence, just like we all do from time to time.

I believe that self confidence is a skill that you can improve upon. It’s like a muscle that can be flexed and strengthened. To find out what others think about self confidence and how they summon it, I went out to Facebook and asked people to share their insights into how build self confidence. Here are their responses, along with a few of my own thoughts on this subject.

1. Vickie Sceifers, Owner of VS Productions, finds confidence by looking for evidence to support it. She said, “I picture a strong confident moment in the past … and focus on that.”
2. Lash Fary, Founder of Distinctive Assets in LA, chimed in with some great practical advice saying, “Always be camera ready. Take extra time every day to look your best. And invest in looking your best in terms of body image, complexion and fashion. When you feel confident about how you look it spills over into being confident about what you are saying and doing.”
3. “Make ‘Fabulous’ your personal “F” word.” This was submitted by Katya Yankelevich, Owner of Village Dental Care.
4. Power Pose. I learned about these in Amy Cuddy’s Ted Talk. Not only do I practice this concept myself now, I share it with clients and have them try it. It’s not hard, but you will feel totally goofy at first! The idea is to stand in a powerful pose, for example like Wonder Woman with her feet apart, hands on her hips and shoulders back for a couple of minutes. Do this right before you make a sales call, speak on stage, lead a meeting or need to muster every bit of self confidence you can. It may sound silly, but this really works. I’ve even done this in a public bathroom right before I’ve gone on stage.
5. Act like you are meant to be there. When you enter a room or a conversation, if don’t engage in the conversation, you will feel less confident. However, if you enter a room as if you are meant to be there, your confidence will soar. Your confidence will make you look comfortable, and eventually you’ll start to feel that way more often naturally. In February Marie Claire magazine’s Editor-in-Chief, Anne Fulenwider, interviewed late-night talk show host Chelsea Handler who said, “I think the most important thing, and the key ingredient for a woman, is to act like you belong there and believe that you belong there.”
6. Watch your voice tone. Get some feedback on your voice from someone you trust. If you speak with enthusiasm and confidence, you will feel more confident. If you consistently end your sentences on an up-swing, you are inadvertently sending a message to others and to yourself that you are questioning your own words and value.
7. Learn to accept a compliment. Don’t diminish the compliment or yourself. Just say, “Thank you!”

What are your thoughts? Share your ideas and tips below. I’d love to hear how you build your self confidence, too.

© 2013 Meredith Liepelt, Rich Life Marketing